“Nothing in life is free, either you are going to pay with time or money.” -Joe Siren.
According to Google, luxury means a state of great comfort and extravagant living. It is my opinion that when something is considered to be luxurious, it is referring to its value and worth… how much are you willing to pay to live a luxurious lifestyle?
I remember one day my sister and I were riding going only God knows where and an August Alsina song came on and a lyric in the song said that “I MADE TO THE GOOD LIFE” and my sister asked me what was my definition of a “good life”. Without a second thought, I started naming all of these material things, (i.e. shopping sprees, cars, watches, purses, etc. and a husband 🤦🏾♀️). When she started describing her luxurious lifestyle that she wanted to create for herself it didn’t look anything like mine. She started naming luxuries like being healthy, getting a kidney, having a successful career, owning her own home, taking her daughters around the world on trips, being completely happy… and I remember saying to her that that is a regular lifestyle. And her response was, “What may seem regular to you, others may consider it as a luxury because not everyone has two functioning kidneys Lynn.” (WHEW CHII THE READ, RIGHT 😭!)
Recently I began reflecting on that conversation. I started thinking about what I consider the “good life” … I thought about what luxuries I needed to attain to live a luxurious lifestyle. Now when I think about “The Good Life” and the luxuries that I want to have, both tangible and intangible, I think about luxuries like love, peace, joy, God’s grace and mercy, happiness, sound mind, living in purpose on purpose… I think about luxuries like having my momma here with me, being physically and mentally healthy, having solid friends and family, being surrounded by my son, nieces, and nephews, having a home, having a growing career and business, and MOST IMPORTANTLY DEPENDING SOLELY ON ME… I pay ALL my bills BY MYSELF… I provide 90% of my son’s needs and wants (shout out to my momma for being the greatest Ganny ever) and I assist my momma in taking care of my sister’s girls! LUXURY!
Every luxury that I possess has cost me A LOT, whether time or money, it cost me something. That is why I take my time and think about why I desire each luxury before I invest in it… i.e., friendships, retail purchases, career opportunities, etc. … I think about what each investment will cost me.
I have a niece, Myrakel, and she is SUPA-DEE-DUPERDY spoiled rotten to the core and she’s EXSPENSIVE. She loves nice things. I remember when she was around 6 years old, she told her momma that she does not eat cheap hotdogs and I knew then we had a complete diva on our hands 🤦🏾♀️. But, as I reflect on that day, I do not think she was being a diva, although she is… I believe she was just stating her expectations… her desire for luxury… and still today, she expects the best from herself and from others.
I know she is going to kill me for telling y’all this, but she was dating this young fella right 🙄🤦🏾♀️… and all these lil gals would DM her on Instagram and Snapchat and tell her about him and who he’s dealing with… so Myrakel called him and said to him without yelling or mincing her words… “I see you wanna be single because you like doing single people activities, so I am going to let you be single.” and that was that… I never heard her talk about him again. I was amazed that at only 17 years old she understood that her time and energy was a luxury that he did not deserve, and she took it away… she definitely didn’t get that from me because I didn’t learn that until my late, LATE 20’s.
I had to learn that I am a luxury to anyone that I desire to give myself to in any form… this understanding came once I understood my worth, and once I began valuing myself at the level of my worth. I also understand that when someone shares their best selves with me that is a luxury as well.
PEOPLE DO NOT HAVE TO SHARE ANY PART OF THEMSELVES WITH YOU… THAT LUXURY COSTS THEM AND YOU MAY NOT BE WORTH IT TO THEM… GEESH… that line it me hard in the stomach!
The most valuable luxury that we possess is TIME… time is freely given to us which makes it extremely valuable because once we use it we can never EVER get it back… understand this, money, you can get back, cars and houses, clothes, shoes, jewelry, you can always get, but you will never get time back… YOUR TIME IS A LUXURY… THEREFORE, VALUE YOUR TIME AND ONLY SHARE IT WITH PEOPLE WHO VALUES YOUR TIME… The second most valuable luxury that we all have is FAMILY… friends may come and go… relationships may end… but family is forever… I am learning to share my time with my family, and I am really enjoying it.
Now if you know me… like know me, know me, then you know that I am a hopeless romantic… and you know that Beyonce and Jay are life goals to me… but not because of their possessions, although they are nice, but because of their relationship with each other and themselves… THOSE ARE THE LUXURIES THAT I HOPE TO HAVE IN MY NEXT RELATIONSHIP (if there is ever another one)… I have a great relationship with myself… it’s better than it has ever been… so whenever God decides to send my dream lover, I hope that he has a great relationship with himself which will trickle over into the relationship we will build together… trust, honesty, respect, love, joy, comfort, stability, romance, peace, passion, forgiveness, consistency, understanding, giving and sharing, integrity, etc., LUXURY🥰
I encourage you to take a moment and reflect on what luxuries are you receiving from others, from activities that you engage in, from your job/career, from God… and ask yourself, “Are you valuing their LUXURIES?”
Then I encourage you to focus on what luxuries are you giving others and what are those luxuries costing you… are they worth your LUXURIES?
The Chic Educator 🍎