“and I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.” -Genesis 3:15
When I found out that my “GOODT SIS”, Sarah Jakes Roberts (SJR), was releasing a book, I knew I had to purchase it; I knew I had to read it from cover to cover. The connection that I have with SJR is undeniable… the fact that we both counted ourselves out because of other’s unfruitful seeds that were planted in our thoughts about who we are that caused us to disrupt God’s plan over our own lives.
WOMAN EVOLVE is Sarah’s discovery of the NECESSARY curse… YES, I am speaking of the curse that was placed on humanity because of Eve’s encounter with the serpent. Eve’s failure set the need for Jesus in motion, which was God’s plan in the first place… you see… if there was no Eve, then there would be no curse, and without the curse, there would be no need for Mary, and if there wasn’t a need for Mary, then there would be no Jesus… and without Jesus we all would be in BIG trouble. You see, God knew that eventually the enemy was going to tempt one of His children, therefore HE chose Eve because he knew that Eve wasn’t going to just sit back and allow the serpent to disrupt the life she knew she needed to live in order to be aligned with God’s will.
My GoodT Sis has many “HIT YOU TO YOUR CORE” words in this book but there were a few “words” that touched so deep in my soul that I had to stop and shed a few tears… through this text, I realized that I am not the only woman who felt and feels uncertain and unworthy as to why God still wants to use my broken, raggedy, lost self.
Word 1: “I want you to love me the way that I would love me if I were you.” (SJR)
- When this statement came up in the text, she was discussing vulnerability. That statement resonated with me so deeply because on the day that I read that chapter, my counselor gave me a homework assignment to begin exploring vulnerability and empathy… those two ideas scares me to DEATH… but I know that in order for someone to love me the way I would love me if I were them means that I have to allow them to see and experience how I love and see myself… which means that I have to allow folks into my space. THAT TOO, SCARES ME TO DEATH! But I do want the folks I am in SHIPS with to love me the way I would if I were them… I want our exchanges with each other to help each other in all areas of our lives… divine exchanges. Which brings me to WORD 2.
Word 2: The transformation from “How can I love you?” to “How can I grow with you?” (SJR)
- When accepting that you’re not always right, accepting correction of behaviors, and accepting multiplication to your plans will take your SHIPS from just LOVE to GROWTH. I have always understood that transformation will only occur if I allow myself to trust myself and God enough to become vulnerable enough to allow folks into my space. To know that, yes, I will get bruised, damaged, and broken, because that is inevitable, is one thing, but to actually allow it to happen is a whole different story. I also understand that allowing folks in will not stop the evolution that God is doing in me and through me, but it can take me off course. Therefore, I have to be intentional with who I create a covenant with. God’s plan for me has been disrupted many, Many, MANY times but not stopped. No matter the place I am in at the moment of the disruption, God always finds a way to remind me that he has work to still do in me so that he can work through me. God has shown me his plans for me many times and many different ways, but he is waiting on me to commit… which again scares me to DEATH! That takes me to WORD 3…
Word 3: “Give yourself permission to embrace that the possibilities are working in your favor whether you see how they are working or not.” (SJR)
- Giving myself permission to do things is something that I struggle with internally. Giving myself permission to dream is something that haunts me to this day… I am so familiar with failure that the possibility of something actually can be executed successfully makes me overthink, overcorrect, and overreact. I am always imagining the worst thing that could happen. There are a lot of SMART Goals that I want to accomplish… I write the plan…make the connections… but then fear seeps in and it opens the door for my insecurities and anxiety and then the plan that I was trying to set in motion gets pushed aside. (I know there are a few women out there that can attest to this) … which brings me to WORD 4
Word 4: “It is possible to believe in others, believe in God, and not believe in yourself.” (SJR)
- I am all of my friends’ and family’s biggest cheerleader. I encourage them to believe in themselves and to dream their biggest dreams and if I can help them accomplish any of them, I am there assisting. But I can’t do the same for myself… the questions of, “Why would God choose me to lead anyone anywhere and why do God think I am worthy of being a leader… does he not know my past… my imperfections… why choose me to be at the forefront of anything to have folks to follow my broken, raggedy, lost self?” always lingers in my mind. Fear, anxiety, and my insecurities always play the highlight reels of my shame, and they always invite my skeletons and demons to have a party in my mind. What I have learned, or shall I say what was confirmed through reading this amazing text, is that I cannot rely on my thinking, so I have to allow God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit to do the thinking for me… I have to give them permission to enter into my whole-self, allowing them access to every part of me. It is comforting to know that this struggle is not just mine because it can seem so lonely sometimes… not wanting to share your real feelings out of fear of being ostracized. That leads me into my final “HIT YOU TO YOUR CORE” WORD…
Word 5: “Your growth is the only proof you need to give your enemies.” (SJR)
- When growing from infant to adult we do not feel the stretching of our skin, but it happens. However, when God stretches us, we feel every pull, yank, and twist… and if we are honest, it sometimes brings us excruciating pain… and while in pain, he wants us to believe that he has a comfort zone waiting on us to rest… but only for a moment because then we must continue on, only to be pulled, yanked, and twisted again… THE CYCLE OF GROWTH… But without all of the pulling, yanking, and twisting we will never grow, and growth is the most vital part of walking in purpose on purpose.
To my GoodT Sis, Sarah Jakes Roberts, thank you! This book was the water that the seeds I planted in good faith needed to spring up… This book was also the weeder that I needed to uproot the weeds that were trying to grow with my purposeful, fruitful seeds. (Matthew 13: 24-30) You don’t know what this book did to my soul. The enemy tried to discourage me from reading this book… when I first looked for it, it was sold out everywhere… when I finally got it, the enemy did everything in its power to deter me from reading it… but I conjured up the strength to push through the enemy’s traps and read this book… I am forever grateful and humbled that God used a woman like me to encourage me… God bless your entire being.
The Chic Educator 🍎